The Chinese Wedding
An article written by Jane Yee
In China, a girl is considered eligible for marriage at seventeen. If she is intelligent, skilled in the domestic arts, and has a beautiful face and pleasing personality, the matchmakers will have a field day. People, with a differing surname, who live in neighboring villages with a son of marriageable age, may hire a matchmaker, or an elderly woman, to inquire about the young lady to see where her interests lie. Some girls may desire a later marriage, want to continue their studies, or pursue a career.
In comparing family background, education, social qualifications, etc., if both families are agreeable, the young lady, accompanied by a chaperone, may go to a tea house for tea and “dim sum”, which are marvelous little snacks. The prospective groom and his mother, by prearrangement, may be at another table to catch a glimpse of the bride-to-be. If they like what they see, the next step is to consult an astrologer to see if their birth signs are compatible. Having passed this test, then the engagement and wedding dates are determined by consulting with the “Good Book of Omens”.
The groom’s family brings gifts to the bride’s family including a live chicken, some fresh pork, blocks of brown sugar and tea pastries. They agree upon a dowry and the amount of wedding pastries needed for the bride’s family to distribute to relatives and friends as an engagement announcement.
Usually the wedding takes place within a few weeks – enough time for the bride to purchase a trousseau, lengths of fine fabrics to be made into tunics, pants, and cheongsams at a later date. As a young girl, she has been making cross-stitched pillow cases, crewel work bed curtains, embroidered room drapery, needlepoint slippers, and sets of fine lingerie. She may have acquired lots of linens for her “hope chest”.
The night before the wedding, the bride’s friends gather at her house for vocal assistance and moral support. Soon she is heard crying loudly because of the impending separation from family and friends. These are familiar verses much like choral recitations which the girls chant. These verses are handed down from one generation to the next and changed to suit the circumstances.
The bride wears a long red gown with matching jacket on her wedding day. Her headdress sparkles with beads,
sequins, and flowers, and she is as lovely as a story book princess. The groom sends a bamboo sedan chair to bring the bride to his home. It seats only one and is the size of a phone booth decorated with red satin streamers, flowers, and coins. Following the bride in her sedan chair, which is carried by two men, are the bride’s dressing table, trunks of clothes and house wares, and a roast pig. (If the bride is found not to be as innocent as the day she was born, the bride, her dowry and the roast pig will be sent back to her family).
The entire village awaits the arrival of the bride which is announced by setting off firecrackers. People from all over assemble in the groom’s house to welcome the bride. A village elder officiates at the wedding ceremony at which time the young couple pay their respects to the family ancestors. The tea ceremony is next. The bride pours tea for each relative. She presents the cup with both hands, bows slightly, lowering her eyes demurely, addressing each person by his or her given title. As the honored person accepts the cup, he or she gives a gift of jewelry or money enclosed in a red envelope to welcome the bride into the family. At the dinner reception she is required to wear all the jewelry. It is not uncommon to see a bride with rings on each finger, three or four bracelets on each arm, and perhaps five or six necklaces around her neck. Most of the jewelry is hand crafted in 24 carat gold, some set with jade, opals, pearls, and diamonds.
After the festivities, while the young couple prepares to retire, the new mother-in-law comes into the bed chamber with fruit, candy, and nuts folded in her apron. At a given signal, she places the goodies on the bed and little children rush for the treats. It is hoped that the couple will be blessed with as many children as there were on that bed.
Many Chinese Americans still observe some of these customs. About twenty percent of the prospective brides still require the groom’s family to provide quantities of wedding pastries. These can be ordered from San Francisco, New York, or Toronto where a large Chinese population can support a few specialty bakeries. No longer is a dowry required.
Often both families agree to share the expenses of a dinner reception. Red invitations are used except in the case of a mixed marriage. These engraved invitations have a dragon descending from the clouds, symbolic of the emperor or the “male of the species”. The phoenix, with her feet on the ground, is symbolic of the “female of the species”. She represents new life forces – a new beginning. The symbol of “double happiness” is also prominent and may be encircled by the other two symbols. If such is the case, the dragon comes from the right and the phoenix from the left.
There is a preference for church weddings and marriage vows with all their solemnity. The bride wears white for the services. She changes to red for the tea ceremony and dinner reception, if she chooses.
Toasting the bridal couple, cutting and sharing the wedding cake, tossing the bridal bouquet and garter are now part of the accepted custom, too, of today’s celebration which is a combination of the old and new customs.
Copyright 2006 - Yee Fung Toy Association of Detroit, MI
In China, a girl is considered eligible for marriage at seventeen. If she is intelligent, skilled in the domestic arts, and has a beautiful face and pleasing personality, the matchmakers will have a field day. People, with a differing surname, who live in neighboring villages with a son of marriageable age, may hire a matchmaker, or an elderly woman, to inquire about the young lady to see where her interests lie. Some girls may desire a later marriage, want to continue their studies, or pursue a career.
In comparing family background, education, social qualifications, etc., if both families are agreeable, the young lady, accompanied by a chaperone, may go to a tea house for tea and “dim sum”, which are marvelous little snacks. The prospective groom and his mother, by prearrangement, may be at another table to catch a glimpse of the bride-to-be. If they like what they see, the next step is to consult an astrologer to see if their birth signs are compatible. Having passed this test, then the engagement and wedding dates are determined by consulting with the “Good Book of Omens”.
The groom’s family brings gifts to the bride’s family including a live chicken, some fresh pork, blocks of brown sugar and tea pastries. They agree upon a dowry and the amount of wedding pastries needed for the bride’s family to distribute to relatives and friends as an engagement announcement.
Usually the wedding takes place within a few weeks – enough time for the bride to purchase a trousseau, lengths of fine fabrics to be made into tunics, pants, and cheongsams at a later date. As a young girl, she has been making cross-stitched pillow cases, crewel work bed curtains, embroidered room drapery, needlepoint slippers, and sets of fine lingerie. She may have acquired lots of linens for her “hope chest”.
The night before the wedding, the bride’s friends gather at her house for vocal assistance and moral support. Soon she is heard crying loudly because of the impending separation from family and friends. These are familiar verses much like choral recitations which the girls chant. These verses are handed down from one generation to the next and changed to suit the circumstances.
The bride wears a long red gown with matching jacket on her wedding day. Her headdress sparkles with beads,
sequins, and flowers, and she is as lovely as a story book princess. The groom sends a bamboo sedan chair to bring the bride to his home. It seats only one and is the size of a phone booth decorated with red satin streamers, flowers, and coins. Following the bride in her sedan chair, which is carried by two men, are the bride’s dressing table, trunks of clothes and house wares, and a roast pig. (If the bride is found not to be as innocent as the day she was born, the bride, her dowry and the roast pig will be sent back to her family).
The entire village awaits the arrival of the bride which is announced by setting off firecrackers. People from all over assemble in the groom’s house to welcome the bride. A village elder officiates at the wedding ceremony at which time the young couple pay their respects to the family ancestors. The tea ceremony is next. The bride pours tea for each relative. She presents the cup with both hands, bows slightly, lowering her eyes demurely, addressing each person by his or her given title. As the honored person accepts the cup, he or she gives a gift of jewelry or money enclosed in a red envelope to welcome the bride into the family. At the dinner reception she is required to wear all the jewelry. It is not uncommon to see a bride with rings on each finger, three or four bracelets on each arm, and perhaps five or six necklaces around her neck. Most of the jewelry is hand crafted in 24 carat gold, some set with jade, opals, pearls, and diamonds.
After the festivities, while the young couple prepares to retire, the new mother-in-law comes into the bed chamber with fruit, candy, and nuts folded in her apron. At a given signal, she places the goodies on the bed and little children rush for the treats. It is hoped that the couple will be blessed with as many children as there were on that bed.
Many Chinese Americans still observe some of these customs. About twenty percent of the prospective brides still require the groom’s family to provide quantities of wedding pastries. These can be ordered from San Francisco, New York, or Toronto where a large Chinese population can support a few specialty bakeries. No longer is a dowry required.
Often both families agree to share the expenses of a dinner reception. Red invitations are used except in the case of a mixed marriage. These engraved invitations have a dragon descending from the clouds, symbolic of the emperor or the “male of the species”. The phoenix, with her feet on the ground, is symbolic of the “female of the species”. She represents new life forces – a new beginning. The symbol of “double happiness” is also prominent and may be encircled by the other two symbols. If such is the case, the dragon comes from the right and the phoenix from the left.
There is a preference for church weddings and marriage vows with all their solemnity. The bride wears white for the services. She changes to red for the tea ceremony and dinner reception, if she chooses.
Toasting the bridal couple, cutting and sharing the wedding cake, tossing the bridal bouquet and garter are now part of the accepted custom, too, of today’s celebration which is a combination of the old and new customs.
Copyright 2006 - Yee Fung Toy Association of Detroit, MI